I got my tax refund back yesterday. It only took 18 days, which I think is a speed record for me. It came in a brown envelope with a hole cut in it so my mailing address printed right on the check could be clearly seen. The hole was big enough that anyone could see without any doubt that the envelope did indeed contain a check for nearly $900. The back of the envelope had this nifty message: “Thank you for filing your income tax return. Use direct deposit to have your refund deposited directly into your bank account. Just fill out the direct deposit portion on your tax form.” There are so many things wrong with this — True, I’ve already filed my taxes. You’re welcome. But, the envelope was specially designed to hold checks and in fact contains my refund. It’s too late to choose direct deposit, no? And anyway, as you’ve already pointed out way back in sentence one, I’ve already filed my tax forms, so I couldn’t fill out the direct deposit section anyway, even if I wasn’t already holding the check in my hands, right?
Maybe it’s their terribly clever way to confuse would-be mail theives. “Woo hoo! I scored someone’s tax check! I can see it through the hole, clear as day. Wait, what’s this on the back… Choose direct deposit? Huh? Maybe that’s not a $900 check I see in there. I guess it’s just a, um, a receipt. Damn!“
Anyway, now that the money’s safely in my bank account, I can actually order those seeds and start playing in the dirt.
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